He could see now what he had not been able to...
He could see now what he had not been able to envision from Dawn's explanations--exactly how the long shed roof let the light into the main hallway through the high row of windows running the length of the front wallYes, now he saw how the sun would arc through the southern sky and the light would wash--and how happy it seemed to make her just to say "wash" after "light"--wash over the white walls, thus changing everything for everyone
The cardboard roof was detachable, and when he lifted it up he could look right into the roomsAll the interior walls were in place, there were doors and closets, in the kitchen there were cabinets, a refrigerator, a dishwasher, a rangeOrcutt had gone so far as to install in the living room tiny pieces of furniture also fashioned out of cardboard, a library table by the western wall of windows, a sofa, end tables, an ottoman, two club chairs, a coffee table in front of a raised fireplace hearth that extended the width of the roomIn the bedroom, across from the bay window, coco chanel earrings where there were the built-in drawers--Shaker drawers, Dawn called them--was the large bed, awaiting its two occupantsOn the wall to either side of the headboard were built-in shelves for booksOrcutt had made some books and put them on the shelves, miniaturized books fashioned out of cardboardThey even had titles on themHe was good at all thisBetter at this, thought the Swede, than at the paintingYes, wouldn't life be so much less futile if we could do it at the scale of one-sixteenth inch to a foot? The only thing missing from the bedroom was a cardboard cock with Orcutt's name on itOrcutt should have made a sixteenth-inch scale model of Dawn on her stomach, with her ass in the air and, from behind, his cock going inIt would have been nice for the Swede to have found that, too, while he stood over her desk, looking down at Dawn's cardboard dreaming and absorbing the fury of Rita Cohen
What does Rita Cohen have to do with Jainism? What does one thing have to do with the other? No, Merry, it does not omega ladies watch hang togetherWhat does any of this ranting have to do with you, who will not even do harm to water? Nothing hangs together--none of it is linked upIt is only in your head that it is linked upNowhere else is there any logic
She's been tracking Merry, trailing her, tracing her, but they're not connected and they never were! There's the logic!
"You've gone too farYou think you are running the show, D-d-daddy? You are not running anything!"
But whether he was or wasn't running the show no longer mattered, because if Merry and Rita Cohen were connected, in any way, if Merry had lied to him about not knowing Rita Cohen, then she might as easily have been lying about being taken in by Sheila after the bombingIf that was so, when Dawn and Orcutt ran off to live in this cardboard house, he and Sheila could run off to Puerto Rico after allAnd if, as a result, his father dropped dead, well, they'd just have to bury himThat's what they'd do: bury him deep in the ground
(He was all at once remembering the death omega deville watch of his grandfather--what it did to his fatherThe Swede was a little kid, seven years oldHis grandfather had been rushed to the hospital the evening before, and his father and his uncles sat at the old man's bedside all night longWhen his father arrived home it was seven-thirty in the morningThe Swede's grandfather had diedHis father got out of the car, went as far as the front steps of the house, and then just sat himself downThe Swede watched him from behind the living room curtainsHis father did not move, even when the Swede's mother came out to comfort himHe sat without moving for over an hour, all the time leaning forward, his elbows on his knees and his face invisible in his handsThere was such a load of tears inside his head that he had to hold it like that in his two strong hands to prevent it from tumbling off of himWhen he was able to raise the head up again, he got back in the car and drove to work
Is Merry lying? Is Merry brainwashed? Is Merry a lesbian? Is Rita the girlfriend? Is Merry 18k omega watch running the whole insane thing? Are they out to do nothing but torture me? Is that the game, the entire game, to torture and torment me?
No, Merry's not lying--Merry is rightRita Cohen does not existIf Merry believes it, I believe itHe did not have to listen to somebody who did not existThe drama she'd constructed did not existHer hateful accusations did not existHer authority did not exist, her powerIf she did not exist, she could not have any powerCould Merry have these religious beliefs and Rita Cohen? You had only to listen to Rita Cohen howling into the phone to know that she was someone to whom there was no sacred form of life on earth or in heavenWhat does she have to do with self-starvation and Ma-hatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King? She does not exist because she does not fit inThese are not even her wordsThese are not a young girl's wordsThere are no grounds for these wordsThis is an imitation of someoneSomeone has been telling her what to do and what to sayFrom the beginning this has all been an gucci purses a